Chris wants boobs


That got yer attention didn’t it?! Now before you ask if he’s merely perving at chicks again, or is actually considering plastic surgery, I’ll tell you it’s neither. But, it is what he said to me when I told him I got a ‘discount’ at the mechanic’s for my car service. While we convex breasted ones do get away with a few things, and perhaps a bit of favouritism for having larger mammary glands, there was, as there invariably is, a catch.

As I was doing a bit of a roadtrip on the weekend, and my car was overdue for its 80 thou service anyway, I thought I’d duck down and get a ‘general service’ and see what really needed attention – other than my ‘jugs’, ‘jubblies’ or my least favourite term, ‘funbags’! I go to a franchise that I went to about a year ago with my ‘shitty old 1978 Honda Accord, Fallopia’ [there’s a whole ‘nother story in her name – I will, by all means, share it if you like…] and they still had my dets on file, old rego, etc. The guy tries to upsell the ‘oil’ for the oil change and I say, ‘what are the advantages?’ etc… fully knowing there must be some, but just making sure he justifies it, rather than simply give me the ‘upsell dumb female who knows nothing about cars’ routine. Despite me knowing absolutely nothing about cars… He explained why and then said, ‘it’s only another twenty bucks and I’ll give you a voucher anyway’. And I cheekily said, ‘oh yeah, I’ve still got one of those from the last time I was here.’ Granted it was a different car, and, er, expired nearly a year ago! He says, ‘oh no worries, I’ll take twenty off then’. Being the honest person I am, I tell him it may not be in my glovebox still and has in fact expired, to which he says, ‘no one else here knows that’. Cool.

There is a catch, however. I get a call about an hour later saying, ‘do you wanna know what we’ve found?’ And while I think, er, no, I say, ‘okay, let me have it.’ The ol’ ‘coolant flush’, a new ‘v-belt’, brake shoes and wheel cylinders, and possibly two new tyres. Good jesus. Saving twenty bucks, and given a potential bill for $900, I soon realised having boobs ain’t all it’s cracked up to be…

Still… I consult my big bros [that’s what they’re there for afterall god love ’em] for second/third opinions and when I relay all the info and they give me the right questions to ask, it turns out this geezer is in fact trying to get the best deal for me, savin’ me a few shekels where he can and as my bro said, ‘sounds like an ok bloke trying to look after the Ging’. He also took another ‘twenty’ off for the voucher he hadn’t even given me yet!

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Car’s running well – not sure what Chris’ thoughts on boobs are now though…

All the breast,

Ging